lucifers_toy (lucifers_toy) wrote,


Title: Fairy?
Rating: G
Spoilers: None
Pairing: pre-McShep
Warning: yes, crackfic

“Alright, look. Recap: my name is Rodney and I’m here to, I don’t know, make you happy. Now, what’s your poison? You get one wish, one, and it can’t be for more wishes so don’t try to be smart. And no, not three wishes, one, because I am not some idiot genie like my sister.”

John stared. “Um?”

Rodney stamped his tiny foot impatiently. “Yes, yes. One wish. C’mon, c’mon, I don’t have all eternity. Problems to solve, wishes to grant, minions to berate.”

John's mouth worked. “F-fairy?”

Rodney planted tiny fists on his equally tiny, stocky hips. His wings drooped. “Yes, well done, give the man a cigar. I can see why you’re the leader of your people. Oh, wait, no I can’t.” He sighed. “I knew the hair meant idiocy. ‘Pretty’ always equals ‘dumb’.”

John raised his hand to his hair defensively. “Hey!”

“Oh, now he can talk. Of course it’s the hair. Christ, pretty-boys are so needy. Look, do you want to clap your hands and chant ‘I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!’, or are you going to make a wish already. I’m so ready to go home, and I’ll bet you’re pretty eager to get out of this hell-hole. No, seriously, there has to be something Atlantis needs.”

John's jaw dropped. “How did y-”

“Hello! Fairy! Oh dear God, if all your people are this stupid, Atlantis is doomed. Pity.”

John's muscle tightened in his jaw. “Okay. Okay. I wish for a new CSO, so that Kavanagh can finally take a long walk off a short pier.”

Rodney waved his want and flashed out of existence. They flashed back in 12.5 sizes bigger, as big as John. He straightened his science-blue shirt and looked at John appreciatively. “Close your mouth, your tonsils are no attractive.” He paused. “Oh, who am I kidding? Come on already.”

Tags: fandom: sga, fic: crack, fic: drabbles, fic: pre-slash, pairing: mckay/sheppard

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